100 of the Best Bear Jokes for Kids [Good Clean Fun]

Last Updated on February 2, 2024 by Michele Tripple

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Ready for an awesome list of bear jokes for kids that everyone will love? This is the best collection of good friendly bear jokes that the whole family can enjoy together!

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The Best Bear Jokes for Kids

Full size bear stretching his arms with blue border and bear joke
  • How do you catch a fish without a fishing rod? With your BEAR hands.
  • What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common? They both have ‘the’ as their middle names!
  • What do you get if you cross a skunk with a bear? Winnie the PU!
  • What’s a teddy bears favorite pasta? Tagliateddy!
  • Why did God make only one Yogi Bear? Because when he tried to make a second one he made a Boo-Boo
  • What bear goes around scaring other animals? Winnie the Boo!
  • What do you get when you cross a bear with a garden? Squash!
  • What do grizzlies do when they are having a bad day in the forest? Grin and bear it.
  • Why do polar bears like bald men? Because they have a great, white, bear place!
  • What do turkeys and teddy bears have in common? They both have stuffing.
  • What do you call a wet bear? A drizzly bear.
  • What’s brown, furry and has twelve paws? The Three Bears!
  • What do you call bears without ears? B’s
  • Where did Goldilocks fall asleep? At the Three Bores house!
  • Why do polar bears have fur coats? Because they would look weird in ski jackets.
  • Which is the scariest fairy-tale? Ghouldilocks and the Three Brrrrs!
  • What is a bear’s favorite drink? Koka-Koala!
  • What’s a polar bear’s favorite food? Eskimo pies
  • Why was the bear cub so spoiled? Because his mother panda’d to his every whim!
  • Why can’t the polar bears watch TV? They ‘PAWS’d it
  • How do you apologize to a koala? BEAR your heart and soul.
Brown bear head with eyes closed with blue border and bear joke
  • Why did the polar bear go to the bank? To seal the deal
  • Why did the bear quit his second job? He needed some koala-ty time with his family.
  • What did the polar bear say to the seal on the bike? My meal has wheels
  • Why don’t bears like fast food? Because they can’t catch it!
  • What did the polar bears call the sleeping campers? urr-itos
  • What do you call a bear with a bad attitude? The bearer of bad news.
  • Why was the koala sad? They said he wasn’t koalafied for the job.
  • Why did the sloth get fired from his job? He would only do the BEAR minimum.
  • Why couldn’t the koala go out to eat? He’s a picky eater.
  • Where do teenage polar bears go to dance? The snow-ball.
  • What did one koala bear say to the other? How’s it hanging?
  • What does pooh eat at parties? blue bear-y pie.
  • What is a polar bear’s favorite cereal? Ice Crispies.
  • What did one koala say to the waiter? Leaf it right there!
  • What do polar bears have for lunch? Ice berg-er!
  • Why did the zookeeper talk to the koala? He kept hanging around.
  • What is a polar bear’s favorite healthy snack? Iceberg lettuce and snow peas.
  • What do you call a koala bear with a red hat? Santa claws
  • What do you call a bear that jumps but never lands? Peter Panda.
  • What do you call a polar bear in Florida? A solar bear.
Full size bear stretching his arms with blue border and bear joke
  • What has two black eyes but never been punched? Panda bear
  • Why did the bear dissolve in water? Because it was polar.
  • How do bears travel when they go on vacation? Bear-o-planes.
  • What is black, white and green all over? A panda at dinner time.
  • Why is polar bear cheap to have as a pet? It lives on ice!
  • What do you call a bear who practices dentistry? A molar bear.
  • What do you call a confused panda? Pan-boozled
  • Why shouldn’t you take a bear to the zoo? Because they’d rather go to the cinema!
  • Why did the bear quit his job at the daycare center? It was panda-monium!
  • What did they call the panda that crashed the party? Panda pooper
  • What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!
  • How did the grizzly bear walk in the snow? Bear-footed.
  • What smells like bamboo but can’t be seen? Panda farts
  • Why didn’t the baby leave his momma? Because he couldn’t bear it!
  • Why do you call a sunburned panda? Crispy critter
  • Which animal can hibernate while standing on its head? Yoga Bear.
  • What is black, white, and smelly? A gassy panda
  • What do you call a freezing bear? A brrrrrrr.
  • Why did the panda move? His home was unbearable
  • What color socks do bears wear? None. They usually have bear (bare) feet.
Brown bear head with eyes closed with blue border and bear joke
  • How do you start a teddy bear race? Ready, teddy, GO!
  • Why do bears have a hairy coat? Fur protection.
  • What do you call a gummy bear missing a leg? Delicious
  • Why do pandas like old movies? Because they’re in black and white.
  • Where does a polar bear go to vote? The North Pole.
  • What do you get if you cross a grizzly bear and a harp? A bear faced lyre!
  • What do you call a teddy bear at the North Pole? Lost!
  • Did you hear about the man who tried to feed a grizzly an Apple? It didn’t bear fruit.
  • How do koalas stay cool in the summer? Bear conditioning.
  • What did the teddy bear say after dinner? I’m stuffed.
  • What are teddy bear poops called? Fleeces.
  • Why did the bear cross the road? It was the chickens day off!
  • What do you call a teddy bear who rides a bike everywhere? Schwinnie the Pooh.
  • What do you get if you cross a teddy bear with a pig? A teddy boar!
  • What’s a koala’s favorite drink? A root bear float.
  • What’s yellow, comes from Peru, and is completely unknown? Waterloo Bear, Paddington Bear’s forgotten cousin!
  • How does a bear stop a movie? It hits the paws button.
  • Why did Tigger look in the toilet? He was looking for Pooh
  • Do you know you only need two letters to spell panda? You need a P and A.
  • What is as big as a bear but weighs nothing? Its shadow!
Full size bear stretching his arms with blue border and bear joke
  • How does the koala bear stay fit? He does bear-obics.
  • What do you call a grizzly bear in a phone booth? Stuck!
  • What kind of umbrella does a Teddy bear carry when it’s raining? A wet one!
  • What does Pooh Bear call his girl friend? Hunny!
  • What did the Teddy bear say when he was offered a second helping? “No thanks; I’m already stuffed!”
  • What do you need for a wedding in the jungle? A Flower gorilla and a ring bear.
  • What time is it when 3 bears are chasing you? 3 after 1
  • What do you call a bear that changes his mind every couple of minutes? A bi-polar bear.
  • What’s white, furry, and shaped like a tooth? A molar bear!
  • What kind of car does Yogi bear drive? A Furrari.
  • How do you hire a teddy bear? Put him on stilts
  • What time is it when a bear sits on your bed? Time to get a new bed!
  • How do Teddies send their letters? By bear mail, of course!
  • What was Yogi bear looking for in the picnic basket? Just the “Bear” necessities.
  • What’s the difference between a Teddy bear and an apple? Teddy bears don’t grow on trees.
  • Why did the bear get so scared? Because he looked in the mirror.
  • What’s small and cuddly and bright purple? A koala holding his breath.
  • What do you call a big white bear with a hole in his middle? A polo bear!
  • What animal do you look like when you get into the bath? A little bear!
Brown bear head with eyes closed with blue border and bear joke

Don’t forget to add your favorite bear jokes for kids to the comments so that we can add it to the list!

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