100 Briiii-liant Penguin Jokes That Will Crack You Up! [Free Joke Cards]

Last Updated on January 20, 2024 by Michele Tripple

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If you’re looking for a good joke to break the ice, look no further! These Penguin Jokes will seal the deal!

penguin on ice on pink background on the right side. Pink background on left with white circle with blue text "the best penguin jokes"

One of the best parts of parenting is getting to laugh with your children. I remember when my kids started making their own jokes as toddlers. They would crack themselves up! Of course, that made my husband and me laugh even harder!

Now that they’re teenagers, their jokes are funny on a different level. They understand the different types of humor, allowing them to make everything they say funny! I love seeing what they come up with on their own. It’s clear that they get their sense of humor from their mama!

The penguin jokes in this list are appropriate for adults and children and are sure to crack you up! Before you waddle away, be sure to check out these other animal jokes: Ap-Peeling Monkey Jokes and the Best Bird Jokes That Make You LOL.

 
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Best Penguin Jokes

These penguin jokes are perfect to really get your kids giggling. I can’t wait to hear what joke they liked the best!

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  • What is a penguin’s favorite type of dancing? Pole Dancing.
  • What do you give to a penguin that’s ill? Some medical tweetment.
  • What do penguins do when they want to relax? Net fish and chill
  • How does a group of penguins make a difficult decision? Flipper coin
  • Why did the two penguins jump when they first met? They were trying to break the ice.
  • What do penguins wear on their heads? Ice caps.
  • What do penguins like to wear on the beach? A beak-ini
  • Who are good racing car drivers? Because they are always in pole position.
  • What is a penguin’s favorite movie? Frozen
  • What do you call a cold penguin? A Birrrr-d
  • Why don’t penguins like rock music? They only like sole
  • Where do penguins keep their money? In a snowbank
  • What’s a penguin’s favorite vegetable? Iceberg lettuce.
  • What is a penguin’s favorite family member? Aunt Africa
  • Who is a penguin’s favorite pop star? Seal
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  • How do penguins drink? Out of beak-ers
  • What do penguin’s eat for lunch? Ice-burgers
  • Why don’t you see penguins in Britain? Because they’re afraid of Wales.
  • Which side of a penguin has the most feathers? The outside
  • What does a penguin eat on its birthday? Fish cakes
  • What’s a penguin’s favorite pasta? Penguini
  • Where do penguins go to watch movies? At the dive-in
  • How do penguins take their Whiskey? On the rocks.
  • What’s black, white and red all over? A penguin with a sunburn.
  • What do you call fifty penguins at the North Pole? Really lost , because penguins live in the Southern Hemisphere.
  • What do penguins eat for breakfast? Frosties
  • What is even smarter than a talking penguin? A spelling bee
  • How does a penguin chef make pancakes? He uses his flippers.
  • Which bird always gets first place? A peng-win
  • What do penguins wear on their feet at night time? Slippers
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  • Where do penguins keep their savings? In a snowbank
  • Why should you not write a book on penguins? Because writing a book on paper is much easier
  • When I meet new people I always talk about my giant pet penguin.. It’s a good ice breaker!
  • Why do polar bears and penguins not get one? Because they are polar opposites!
  • What do you call a penguin with no eye? Penguin
  • Why don’t the penguins jump off of the iceberg? He got cold feet!
  • How do penguins know when there’s something wrong? It smells a bit fishy
  • How do a group of penguins make a decision? Flipper coin!
  • What do penguins sing on a birthday? Freeze a jolly good fellow!
  • Why do Penguins carry fish in their beaks? Because they haven’t got any pockets!
  • What kind of fish do Penguins catch at night? Starfish!
  • What do Penguins like to eat? Brrrritos!
  • What do penguins wear on their heads? Ice Caps
  • How does a Penguin build a LEGO house? Igloos it together!
  • Why don’t penguins fly? Because they’re not tall enough to be pilots!
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  • What did one penguin say to the other? Nothing, he gave him the cold shoulder!
  • What’s black and white, black and white, black and white? A penguin rolling down a hill!
  • What do you call a penguin in the desert? Lost
  • How do you know if a penguin has coronavirus? Because they have to self ice-olate.
  • How do penguins know when there’s something wrong? It smells a bit fishy
  • Why did the penguins start jumping on their first date? They were trying to break the ice.
  • Where do penguins go to watch movies? At the dive-in.
  • Why are penguins so difficult to get along with? Because they’re always fishing for compliments. 
  • How do penguins make difficult decisions? They flipper coins.
  • What did one penguin say to the other? Nothing, he gave him the cold shoulder.
  • Where do penguins go dancing? The Snow Ball.
  • What game do penguins play at a party? Rock-hopper-scissors
  • Why is it hard to get along with penguins? Because they’re always fishing for compliments.
  • What do you call a penguin in the desert? Lost
  • Why did the penguin bride get left at the altar?The groom got cold feet.
in post image with white background, green border, text of penguin jokes and an image of a penguin
  • What do penguins sing at birthday parties? Freeze a Jolly Good Fellow
  • Why don’t penguins and polar bears get along? Because they are polar opposites
  • How does a penguin cook burgers? With his flipped
  • What is black and white and red all over? A sunburnt penguin
  • How do penguins make pancakes? With their flippers.
  • How do you contact a penguin? Give him a wing
  • Why didn’t the penguin jump off the iceberg? He got cold feet
  • How do penguins pass exams? They wing it.
  • Why was penguin Jesus born in a barn? There was a snow room at the inn.
  • What do penguins eat for breakfast? Frosties
  • How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together
  • Why are fat penguins so popular at parties? They know how to break the ice.
  • What does the penguin waiter say? Waddle it be
  • When I become a lawyer, I want to defend a penguin. Just so I can say, “Your honor! My client isn’t a flight risk”
  • Where does a penguin go when it loses its tail? A re-tail store.
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  • Which side of a penguin has the most feathers? The outside.
  • What do you call a cold penguin? A Brrr-d
  • Who’s the head of the penguin navy? Admiral Byrd
  • What does a n evil penguin lay? Deviled eggs
  • Why did the penguin cross the road? It was the chicken’s day off
  • Why did the penguin cross the road twice? To prove he wasn’t chicken
  • What did the penguin say after he went shopping? Put it on my bill.
  • Where do penguins dance? The snow ball.
  • Where does a penguin keep its money? In a snowbank
  • What do you get when a penguin lays an egg on a hill? An eggroll
  • Why did the penguin cross the ocean? To get to the other tide.
  • What do penguins drink during the summer? Iced Tea
  • Where does a 500 pound penguin sit? Anywhere it wants
  • How do penguins work? Out of beak-ers.
  • How do penguins make a decision? Flipper.com
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  • What does a magician penguin say? “Pick a cod, any cod…”
  • What did the sea say about the penguin? Nothing, it just waved!
  • What is a penguin racing driver’s favorite part of the car? The Eggs-celator
  • Where do penguins go swimming? At the South Pool!
  • How do Penguins drink their cola? On the rocks.
  • Who is Penguin’s favorite pop star? Seal.
  • Why was the penguin popular? Because he was an ice guy.
  • What do you call a happy penguin? A Pen-Grin!
  • What did one Emperor Penguin say to the other? Nothing, he just gave him the cold shoulder.
  • Why did the penguin cross the road? To go with the floe.

Do you have even more penguin jokes that make you laugh? Share them in the comments! Don’t forget to share your favorite penguin joke on Instagram as well!

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